"I always arrive late at the office but make it up by leaving early" - Charles Lamb

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

  Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.   Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.   Balding candidate excused himself and returned a to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.   Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.   A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.  Candidate dozed off during interview.  Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.

 In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' x 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' x 8' cubicle.
 In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
 In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
 In prison a guard lock and unlocks all the doors for you. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
 In prison you can watch TB and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
 In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.
 At work, you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they dedcut taxes from you salary to pay for the prisoners.
 In prison, there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work we have managers.

"If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way." - Homer Simpson.